Roy Hodgson was today named the new Liverpool manager. The task he faces is not any easy one. Liverpool is in decline and there is a great possibility they may lose their star players namely Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres. But my job is not to consider what lies ahead for Roy. No, I’m here to predict what he might or might not do and what lies ahead for Liverpool.
1) Roy makes Lucas club captain: This may be an unpopular choice but given the likely departure of Steven Gerrard, Lucas is the obvious choice (shut up Jamie!). Lucas will bring stability, a solid back-line and an eagerness to attack. His youthful enthusiasm might be exactly what Liverpool need. Or there’s also the other possibility that Liverpool might be relegated.
2) Roy fires Jamie Carragher: Again, this might be an unpopular choice but ultimately exactly what Liverpool need. Lets face it. Jamie is slow, old and at times useless. He is like Yoda usually: old, tired-looking and slow but when a f*cking attacker comes he becomes lightning quick and pwns those bastards. Roy could fire him and make Liverpool fast, energetic and a force to be reckoned with or keep him and remain where they are.
3) Roy brings in Paul Konchesky: A bold move by the Hodgsonator. Konchesky’s awesome defensive skills and powerful left foot might be exactly what Liverpool need. His shiny, bald head is also the stuff of legend.
4) Roy brings Danny Murphy home: So maybe Roy is bringing too many of his former Fulham players to Anfield and he may regret this. But then again Danny Murphy is a cult hero at Liverpool defeating the hated Man United (friggin’ Scum!) on many occasions. At a time like this Liverpool need heroes and Danny Murphy is a potential hero. (I’ve been calling on Rafa to bring him back to Anfield for the last 2 years and I’m not even a f*cking Liverpool fan)
5) Roy tells the Kop to shut up: Sure the atmosphere at Anfield is legendary and the players love the support of the “12th man”. But Roy is a quiet man and he protrudes calmness. If the fans have to shut up for Liverpool to progress then they have to shut up. Roy hopes that in years to come Liverpool will be remember for their serenity and the triumphs that came with this tranquility.
6) Roy decides to focus on the Europa League: Because lets face it. This could be the only way to bring success to Anfield.
7) Roy sells Emilano Insua for being too short: Who wouldn’t? The guy’s a midget.
8) Roy sells Peter Crouch for being too tall: Oh wait, Rafa already did that.
9) Roy trades in Aquilani for a Ferrari: The Ferrari is the better Italian and lasts longer. It also rarely gets injured and doesn’t need time to settle in.
10) Roy buys Liverpool: The Yanks are willing to go low, and Roy has money. So this is a possibility. Roy would then sell Liverpool for a handsome profit and retire.
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