Top 10 reasons why England lost to Germany:

1) Emile Heskey.
2) Emile Heskey screwed up Wayne Rooney.
3) Fabio Capello thinks too much about Emile Heskey. (to be fair to him who wouldn’t? Look at that big, muscular, magnificent specimen)
4) The referee was distracted by Emile Heskey’s absence and failed to notice Lampard’s goal.
5) Emile Heskey made Mesut Ozil faster.
6) Wayne Rooney and James Milner wouldn’t sing the national anthem….because of Emile Heskey.
7) Emile Heskey is not the Queen. If he was England would surely be victorious. Happy and glorious. (may Emile Heskey live long and be noble)
8) Why the f*ck is Emile Heskey not the Queen?
9) Miroslav Klose and Lukas Podolski are Polish. Ze Germans cheated. Hmph. F*cking Emile Heskey.
10) England didn’t really lose to Germany it was all just a bad dream and Emile Heskey is the Boogeyman. (OMFG Emile Heskey!)